Wilt Chamberlain's Love Children Bump Their Heads on Doorframes

If there is one good thing that will come out of this Niki D'Andrea New Times fiasco, I somehow doubt it will be a change in policy at New Times (but I'm still waiting to hear back from editor Rick Barrs about that...).

So if nothing else, maybe the whole thing will at least result in satire artist Con Chapman getting the shine he deserves at Gerbil Sports Network. Make sure to go check out his latest, Experts Say Children of Chamberlain Will Force Changes to US Doorframes:

“If each one produces just 20,000 offspring before he or she dies, you’re talking 400 million seven-footers bumping their heads into lintels,” the horizontal load-bearing member spanning an opening such as a door.

Also worth your time is one of my personal favorites, Nothing But Neat:

"Cool Dockers!" said Paul Pierce of the Celtics with an admiring glance as he greeted Iverson.

"Thank you," said Iverson with a sheepish look on his face as he smoothed the pleats on his pants. "I was totally wrong about the dress code!"

Explain to me again how anything written by this hilarious dude was read seriously and then printed in a newspaper article as fact?